So Much in my Heart Today ~

Trenten is coming home today!
For two weeks. From the war in Afghanistan.
I am so excited to see him.
I am so excited to hug him and talk to him and sit with him.
My heart squeezes and I'm tender hearted when I think of
him having to leave and GO BACK to that in two weeks....
I am very proud of him.
I hope to do what I can to make his visit joyfull.
I'm way excited about his party on Saturday!!!!

Dave. In jail.
Torn between wanting to kick his ass and hug him tight.
And I hurt for his mama, and Lisann.

Micha, what can I say about that?
Being judged for loving .... it's an interesting position.
I wish her joy and peace and love and all good things.

So happy to see Rachel and Ashba and kids this weekend!!!
So way happy for that! Rachel knows me probably better
than anybody on this earth, and she likes me anyway. lol.
It is awesome to have thAt one person to be completely open with.

I want to show love in as many ways as I can for everybody this week.

Thinking of my Erin and Erik leaving home this year.
Leaving into a commitment that will change their lives
and take them very far away from home, and that will
hold them tight to it for some years. Hoping their ready for it.
Not sure I am.
When I think of not seeing them every day,
of not making food for them, eating with them,
going to their school stuff, TALKING to them every day...
it breaks my heart, scares me a bit,
gives me a little anxiety for them,
and me.
On one hand so proud.
And the other wanting to hold them to me.
Especially Erin, because of her younger age I think.
And am I ready to be only with Pat full time?
Some days it seems like it will be a good time.
Some days it feels like it will be empty and boring and sad.
Imagine those both are true.
I look forward into this to so many changes.
Am I ready? Ready or not......

There are sisters in my ward that need loving
on a level beyond what we knew before yesterday.
I feel that I haven't been as active in my calling as
I was in the beginning, and I wish to give some energy to that.

I have made such a good friend here in this last several
months, she is fun and kind and loving and strong in her
beliefs. She has my back. She loves me. I love her.
It is a joy to have her in my life.

Pat and I working towards such good things.
It seems there is so much to say about him and I lately,
but I feel tender and private about it, wanting to hold it close.

I love my job.
I feel so blessed to work with the people that I work with,
and to do the work I'm doing.
I believe I have the potential to make a small difference
in childrens lives, by being a loving adult, who pays attention.
I think some drivers think it's just about getting them safely
from a to b, but I believe it's an OPPURTUNITY to love.

Having Erik AND Shawn in sacrament meeting with me yesterday,
was beyond awesome. My heart was full to bursting,
and I maintained so that they didn't feel uncomfortable with my emotions.
I am so excited to see Erik get his patriarchal blessing!!!
I'd like to get a copy of Shawn's and mine for us.

I feel, in general, very blessed these days.
Good friends.
Good job.
Good husband.
Good kids.
Good calling.
Blessed.

Blessed. Yes.

Much love ~